You call me a liar but if only you knew that the fire around me was burning brighter than the one inside me you would have treated me differently. If only you knew my real story you’d hear the ups and downs the pain and the glory. All the nights I cried myself to sleep not knowing who would be here in the morning. But I give you fare warning because my mornings had my stomach churning. Cramps, belly aches and feeling like I was being stabbed over and over again I could barely make it to school. But I put my mask on to hide what’s actually going on. Yes I cry but the I have to suck it up for my brother and sister who rely on me little do they know holding everything in is physically hurting my body. I feel like I have no body. I love my family and I know they are there for me but I never want to bother anybody. I ponder if I am even strong enough to fight any longer. But despite my constant anxiety about every little thing finally I see the smallest light at the end of the tunnel and I fight to to make my way out of the dark whole that seems will never end. The light dims and I pretend like everything is fine little did I know that light that shines was only satan shining his flashlight in my direction making sure my hope was slowly declining. Again I pick my self up despite the constant voice in my ear telling me I will never be enough that I will never measure up. But all of this was never my choice. I was born into this life. I walk down the halls and people scorn at me. I hear the rumors and I don’t blame them. I feel so ashamed for things I did not even do. I feel like I blew it. My whole life down the drain. And through all of this I was still fighting the constant pain of not knowing if what happened before will happen again. I pray to god to help me fight off these demons inside me slowly he tries to subside the pain finally that light at the end of the tunnel is not fake finally I can catch a break. God says I am loved when I can’t feel a thing he says I am strong when I think I am weak. If only you knew the real me.
